Below Deck Down Under Recap: Breaking Point

Might Wihan’s reign of chaos be inching toward its end? I was losing hope we’d ever make it out of the alternate reality that had seized the boat when a man-child in blue Lycra proclaimed himself King of Everything. But at long last, people are starting to wake up. By the end of this week’s episode, he has struck Lara’s last nerve, and I’m hoping that next week we’ll get Captain Jason back from whatever planet he’s decided to inhabit. We might have lost Tzarina for good, though. I thought that the last of her delusional interest in the bosun had been extinguished when he refused to take any accountability during their heads-of-department-meeting, but alas — the force of unrequited love is such that at one point she finds herself sitting in his lap and kissing his neck during dinner service.

In my last recap, I wrote that this week’s night out had the potential to be the crew’s most chaotic yet, given the three developing boatmances and the tension between the departments, but it turns out to be a wholesome evening. Lara sets up a thoughtful sushi dinner for Marina’s birthday while Johnny and Alesia go on a nice date. He repeatedly tells her how beautiful she is (correct approach, if a little eager) and shares stories about getting into fights and hanging with the troublemakers in school. Alesia is more reserved — she lets him do most of the talking — but has a good time overall. They arrive back on the Katina just in time for cake and hot tub truth or dare, during which, surprise, surprise, they are dared to kiss.

While the rest of the crew is in the hot tub, Harry takes Bri to the guest cabin, which he carefully makes up with Lara’s help. A rose-petal heart shape on the bed is a sweet gesture that is also miles away from the “Dirty Harry” alter-ego he’d promised to summon. But the effort is just what Bri needed in order to restore her faith in their relationship — by morning, with cloying smiles stamped on their faces, Bravo’s most inoffensive couple is back on track.

Also on track is Wihan’s plan to woo Adair. They kiss in the kitchen before going to their separate cabins. Adair turns the lights off and scrolls on her phone with a completely blank expression. Has reality television ever seen a person more adrift? Wihan, meanwhile, literally runs to whoop and high-five with Johnny. Most significantly, just when you thought he couldn’t possibly worsen his chances of ever redeeming himself in the eyes of the audience, Wihan tells Johnny that he feels the urge to tell Bri that she needs “a guy” rather than “a fucking wimp.”

The notion that Wihan would know what Bri needs, let alone what constitutes the “right” kind of guy for a relationship, is almost as absurd as William “Billy” Cunningham III’s request to arrive on the Katina on a Jet Ski. Along with his partner Cindy, whose birthday they are celebrating and whom he met mere days ago, our new primary is a real estate agent looking to have fun in totally normal, adult ways, like with a foam and wig party. After going through the preference sheet, Jason checks in on the heads of department, who give him exactly zero insight into their problems, instead electing to let the topic go and become much worse. It’s a bad move on everyone’s part — on Jason for not being more thorough and on the heads of the department for not being more expressive.

Many readers have pointed out that while Jason used to be one of the best captains in the Below Deck franchise, this season he seems off — he is too lenient, too willing to take his clothes off in front of the guests, and not attentive enough. His aloofness only makes the Wihan problem worse — had Jason sat down with each individual leader and then with the three of them as a team before the next charter arrived, perhaps he could have avoided the spat between Wihan and Lara that closes this week’s episode. His attentiveness might also have opened up room for Lara to speak to him about the problems in her own department before they flew like shrapnel into the captain’s bridge.

After a few episode’s lull, Marina steps up as an agent of chaos. Maybe the laundry detergent chemicals and the many windowless hours are beginning to affect her brain, but when Lara tells her that she’ll be on housekeeping for the rest of the season, Marina snaps. Lara breaks the news in the crew mess while they fold laundry, and Adair, who might as well not even work on this boat, so clueless is she about hierarchical etiquette, butts in to defend her cabin-mate and tell the chief stew that she should rotate her subordinates. Marina doesn’t argue, but later she tries to recruit Bri’s help; if they both say something to Lara, maybe that would convince her to alternate them. Bri is polite about it, but there’s nothing in it for her besides potentially straining her excellent relationship with her boss, so she declines.

Marina’s subsequent discontent snowballs into not one but two tiffs with Jason after the guests arrive. She labels their suitcases before bringing them up to the cabins so that the luggage won’t cause traffic in the hallways when Jason comes in and starts taking unlabeled bags upstairs. Marina tries to stop him, but he tells her this way will be fine. She is annoyed but defers to his call. Later, in the galley, Jason makes a joke about needing his M&M’s in order to function properly, and Marina missteps. She provokes him by saying that otherwise he gets cranky and micromanages his employees, which leads him to advise her never to speak to him that way again.

Marina is wrong here. Her comment is what you might fantasize about saying to your boss but that you ultimately repress because it’s not worth the problem. Now, this is going to sound like an excuse, but I do think there is a slight cultural and linguistic barrier at play here. Marina’s comment wouldn’t have sounded so harsh in Brazil — it would still have been out of line, but not worth the reaction from the captain, who tells Lara he will “deal” with Marina. At this rate, that can only mean he’ll give her the cursed disco helmet at the tip meeting. Maybe I’m being too partial to my compatriot here, but it seems ridiculous that she is being scrutinized more harshly than Wihan, who has gotten one million complaints and is still slacking on the job. 

Harry has to ask Wihan to ask Lara how long she estimates the guests will take to be ready for the water toys since Wihan thinks it’s enough just to sort of intuit it. It’s hilarious that Wihan resents Harry’s “overstepping” but always follows through with his suggestions since, ultimately, he is at a loss for how to do his job. I’m reminded of Harry’s stated ambition in this season’s opening episode to be a lead deckhand; maybe he sees an opportunity in Wihan’s incompetence. The guests, when they arrive, are insane. They jump off the side of the boat, do stunts on the Jet Skis, and generally get on Jason’s nerves. For all of their raucous behavior with the water toys, the strangest thing they do is go snorkeling fully clothed.

Later that evening, Tzarina steps up for the wig party. The presentation of her chicken and caviar starter is probably her most beautiful work to date, and there is not a spoon in sight. She was about to have one of the better nights of the season until she got handsy with Wihan in the crew mess for no discernible reason other than possibly to one-up Adair, who has a date scheduled with Wihan. Adair tells Marina that it would be “weird” if Wihan fell in love with her, and while it seems like she is exercising the correct amount of detachment, it’s naive of her to think that the date is the “start” of something rather than its rapidly-deteriorating middle, if next week’s preview is any indication. Tzarina may weasel her way in yet …

After dinner, the guests head upstairs to the hot tub for the foam party, which is nothing short of preposterous. Where did these people get this idea? It’s unclear whether it’s the foam or the drink, but something makes one of the guests throw up off the side of the boat. He then immediately returns to the middle of the foam pit, having made room for more drink and more foam. Judgments aside, everyone seems to enjoy the foam party, including the crew, and perhaps its most impressive feat is that for all of the mess, the foam is contained in the hot tub area. Harry goes to sleep before the foam machines arrive, since he has the early morning shift. Later, when Wihan and Johnny are confronted with having to dispose of the bubbles, Wihan, the world’s No. 1 boss, just throws his hands up and goes to bed.

Before he does, he instructs Johnny to do what he can before his shift ends at 1 a.m. and leave the rest for Harry. Johnny works 40 minutes past one and goes to bed wearied by the Sisyphean task. First thing in the morning, he tells Wihan that he forgot to write on the board that he managed to get through about one-third of the sundeck. Harry is doing well picking up where Johnny left off until Wihan asks him to wipe the stains off the sundeck’s teak with K2R after the breakfast table has already been set and the guests are on their way up for the meal. Lara questions why Wihan wouldn’t have done this sooner — it was technically Johnny’s job, but seeing as he spent three hours cleaning out the foam, maybe Wihan could’ve addressed it early in the morning when he came up to the deck, especially since Johnny gave him the heads up. Instead, Wihan was too busy flirting with Adair to take a look around. Sensing that this might escalate the problems between the departments, Wihan goes straight to the captain like a little kid in trouble with the principal, which only aggravates Lara more. It might be the last straw for her — and, if next week’s preview is any indication, for Harry too. Will our patience finally be rewarded?