Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: To Plate or Not to Plate

This week’s episode resumes in medias makeout, with Danni and Gary kissing in the water. If I wasn’t so against this coupling, I’d be impressed by their ability to tread water while smooching. Gary makes this affair grosser, of course, by saying in an interview that he sees Danni more as a little sister. When the off-screen producer presses him on this, he admits alcohol was a big factor. He hasn’t learned from his mistakes. Surprisingly, Danni doesn’t see it as a mistake and would kiss him again. She’s given up on Keith because he wasn’t picking up on her moves. It seems like she even wants a goodnight kiss from Gary as they part ways, but he keeps it chaste.

In the morning, Danni decides to keep quiet about the kiss. Gary compliments her, saying she looks “fresh as a daisy.” Even subconsciously he compares every woman to Daisy! Speaking of Daisy, Gary tells her he kissed Danni, and she immediately calls it a fuck-up. Daisy also saves me a Google by reminding him that Danni is 11 years younger than him. She posits he was looking for validation. At this, Gary calls Daisy crazy and is done with the discussion. What did he expect out of this conversation? Daisy to get jealous and profess her undying love for him? Oh wait, that’s exactly what he wants.

Danni also doesn’t keep it a secret for long. She tells Diana, who wishes she was more like Danni and less shy. Keith also fills Emma in on the night out she missed, where he feels like he and Danni had a breakthrough conversation. He wants to take the risk with her and be less of an absolutist. This is some real rom-com-level bad timing.

Beyond the kiss heard ‘round the boat, the same crew issues — Emma slacking, Cloyce not stepping up, and the stews’ attitudes — continue to simmer. Gary asks Emma to wash the side of the boat, and she suggests Keith do it because he has a longer reach. Gary calls BS — he’s shorter than Emma and he can do it. Emma tells us she fears falling in because she’s clumsy. Keith, ever the team player, does it. On Watch What Happens Live, I was surprised Glenn said Danni was the MVP so far and not Keith, although he did say Keith had the best leadership potential.

The new primary is Andrew, the CEO of a dental group, bringing seven friends who are almost all dentists. Davide is weirdly excited about the idea of hot dentists because his dentist is his sister’s boyfriend. I was ready to make a David(e) After Dentist joke, but a small, normal interaction with the guests while sailing is his only contribution to the episode. Davide, we hardly knew ye.

Two of the guests, MC and Chris, are recently engaged, so Andrew requests “dessert shots or something” to celebrate them after dinner. I wonder how recent the engagement really was and if this is like when people lie about their birthdays at restaurants. Daisy relays the request to Cloyce, whose hangover has his mentality “at an all-time low.” Dinner isn’t until 10 p.m., so he decides to take an afternoon nap, which makes his questionable time management more noticeable.

The night’s theme is blue and white. Danni makes it through decorating without a breakdown, but Diana does not. As she makes blue salt for margaritas, a guest brings her a dress with a stain on it. Danni says she’s busy decorating, so Diana takes it to the laundry room and removes the stain herself. A little laundry drama is almost exciting again after seeing so much of it with Bri on Mediterranean! Diana’s annoyed because she can hear Danni laughing in the crew mess. Danni asks her to take a sunset pic together, and Diana tells her she feels like she’s the only one working. This doesn’t go over too well, but I actually think it’s good to be upfront about her feelings rather than let the grudge grow, although Diana could work on her delivery. Later, Danni tries to gossip with Daisy, saying she’s scared of Diana. Daisy tells her to be the bigger person. Again, I think this is the right sentiment, but the delivery is less than ideal.

For the evening, the stews break out their coral dresses instead of blacks which are pretty awful. They also don’t give luxury in the same way. Cloyce is doing family style again, which Daisy correctly pushes back on, but he doesn’t listen to her. He thinks plating his “play on a Caesar salad” is enough. When he presents this to the guests, he doesn’t explain what the “play” is, and they’re as confused as we are, confirming that not only does it look like a normal Caesar salad, but it tastes like one, too. When the “seafood bash” comes out family style, the primary’s wife, Cecilia, is disappointed that it’s not plated. Daisy kind of puts the words in her mouth, but she repeats the complaint to her friends so many times throughout the night that they get annoyed.

When Glenn asks how dinner was, there’s an awkward pause before they say delicious. Is this really an indictment of Cloyce, or do we chalk this up to editing or their jet lag? Cloyce isn’t making a case for himself with dessert. Dinner’s cleared, and he’s still practicing writing with chocolate sauce on a plate. Gary thinks this is an appropriate time to pull Daisy to apologize, and they actually do have enough time to hug it out, because Cloyce can’t fit a sloppy “Congratulations” on the first plate he tries. Upstairs, the engaged couple is about to go to bed, so the other guests have to spoil the surprise and tell them to stay. Twenty-eight minutes late, Cloyce gets the dessert out, knowing it’s not his best work. The chocolate sauce doesn’t even seem to go with the coconut cake that’s served in glasses. I don’t want to hit a guy while he’s down, but the blue frosting also looks nauseatingly grocery-store cookie-esque.

Emma’s on the overnight shift again. I’m relieved she doesn’t fall asleep, but that relief is short-lived because she does lose track of time, seemingly from being on her phone. She pretends to be surprised by Keith arriving to swap out with her, which honestly, wouldn’t we all try that? She admits she’s not finished because there’s water accumulating near a scupper (a hole that water is supposed to drain out). She offers to help Keith with the swim platform but then just stands there watching him. His patience with her is wearing thin, and he reports all this to Gary. The guys both feel like they have to be on eggshells around her. It’s not looking good for Emma, whose catchphrase is quickly becoming “I don’t know what to tell you.”

In the crew mess, Danni tries to flirt with Gary over breakfast. She unsubtly says she’s thinking about cuddling, and Gary takes the opportunity to shut things down regarding their kiss. He doesn’t want it to happen again. Well done for now, Gary, but I won’t believe it until I see it when you’re drunk. Upstairs, Diana asks Keith what happened between him and Danni on the last night out. I wonder if Diana secretly likes Keith. More likely, she’s just harboring a grudge against Danni for not helping her more. Whatever her ulterior motivations, Diana tells him that Danni kissed Gary. This is like a gut punch to poor Keith. Diana heads off, her work here done: “Oops.”

Cloyce resolves never to drink so much again on a school night, but he’s not too open to Daisy’s feedback. She tells him the guests were disappointed about it not being plated, and he digs in on “part of it was plated.” He doesn’t step up for breakfast the next day either. I can’t believe I’m seeing packaged yogurt cups on ice and a mountain of scrambled eggs. Daisy thinks his breakfasts are giving airport hotel, but even nice airport hotels have omelet stations and parfait cups. Cloyce can’t be bothered to make pastries or do the bare minimum of putting yogurt into cups with berries and granola. Daisy talks to Glenn: the food’s not bad enough for the guests to complain, but it’s not something special. She’ll have one more talk with the chef before Glenn steps in.

In said chat, Daisy couches the criticism with a lot of “I think”s and tells Cloyce that guests are expecting a wow factor. He pushes back — some things are inherently rustic. I laughed at this nonsensical excuse. Cloyce says “never in the history of [his] charter experience” have his skills been questioned like this. Once again, Daisy comes in with the cold hard stats: that experience is only two years. She thinks her 11 years should count for something. Will Cloyce learn to respect his elders? Between this and Danni/Keith, things are finally getting interesting.