Love Is Blind Season-Premiere Recap: Only Have Eyes for Two

Is the Minneapolis season of Love Is Blind gonna put the ”mid” in Midwest, or is it gonna put the 8 in gr8? I think it’s too early to say after just one week, but Netflix has clearly invested a lot in season eight. As Nick and Vanessa Lachey inform the singles, this is the largest group to ever enter the pods. The food spread in the lounges seems grander, and the budget for needle drops has clearly gone up — blind dates are being interrupted with the likes of “Birds of a Feather” by Billie Eilish, “Marry Me” by Jason Derulo, and “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus. Funnily enough, using such broadly popular songs kind of circles back around to feeling as corny as using the overly specific, fake-sounding ones, so it still feels pretty on-brand to me.

The season’s opening preview promises that there’s plenty of drama on the way, which was honestly good to know upfront because the pod dates weren’t initially holding my attention. I’m typically locked in and ready to binge after just an episode or two, but this week felt like more of a slow burn. There were definitely pod convos I leaned in for, and the camera crew was putting in work to capture some frankly cinematic moments in the men’s and women’s lounges. However, some of the couples that got engaged weren’t half as engaging to watch as the love square, where everyone went home alone. Maybe the relationships will feel more real when we see them in the real world? For now, let’s unpack our six main storylines.

Love & Basketball (Devin, Brittany, and Virginia)

At the center of this love triangle is 28-year-old Devin, for whom ball is life. He’s a basketball coach who also works for a youth sports company and has his own basketball training business. Both of the women he’s dating have a connection to the sport — 34-year-old partnership executive and former college basketball coach Britt-a-ny says she could beat him in a game (I believe her), while 33-year-old healthcare recruiter Virginia used to be an NBA dancer. Neither of them minds the age gap, though Virginia does have a good laugh in the women’s lounge when revealing that he went to her high school after she graduated.

At first, Devin seems to be leaning toward Brittany because Virginia isn’t getting as vulnerable as he wants. Brittany is the first to hear Devin talk about an injury that impacted his ability to play basketball, led to him abusing ibuprofen, and turned him closer to God. He’s touched by her lack of judgment and immediate support — but can’t reciprocate when she nervously shares that she’s been with women, though she can only see herself marrying a man. Devin seems to struggle with the idea that there are more options than just straight or gay, and Virginia is now his clear frontrunner. The ibuprofen story actually brings him closer to Virginia because of their shared desire for a partner to pray with when things get tough. In a pleasant surprise, Brittany breaks it off with Devin before he can. I’m glad that instead of him saying that her sexuality was a dealbreaker for him, she got to say that his response was a dealbeaker for her.

Virginia and Devin get engaged, and I’ve never seen anyone shake as much as she does during the reveal. But she seems happy, and he’s obviously mesmerized. I can see the “get someone who looks at you the way Virginia looks at Devin” tweets already. The way she looks up through her eyelashes is lethal.

Friends to Lovers (Joey and Monica)

(Yes, because they both have names of Friends characters. Sure, they both like swing music, but I wasn’t gonna call them the swingers, was I?) According to an informal poll of my coworkers, this was the least interesting pod storyline. But before we get into that, we must acknowledge Joey’s accent. The way he produces vowels … it’s sauough incredible.

Anyway, Joey is a physician associate who says he’s been told that he gives off golden retriever vibes. He turned down big football offers to stay near home and help his family, and he went from having $200 in his bank account after grad school to buying property when he was 27. (Care to share your methods with the class, Joey? Please??) Joey bonds with Monica — who’s between jobs right now while she helps her grandma — over their love for The Sound of Music and hatred for the sound of country music. I did enjoy when Monica attempted to teach Joey her Chilean dad’s favorite dance move, but the rest of their dates before the proposal mostly felt like filler. At the reveal, Monica is surprised by Joey’s long hair, but she likes Tarzan, so it works out.

In the end-of-week preview, Joey is telling Monica about his OCD, which appears to be new information to her. What, that didn’t come up in the pods, but they had time to share thoughts on monogamous penguins? They must still have a lot to learn about each other. But we see that these two at least make it as far as the altar, so that’s promising.

Social Issues (Ben and Sara)

While Joey and Monica’s screen time was too fluffy for me to feel fully invested, I had the opposite problem with developer Ben and oncology nurse Sara. We needed more fluff. Most of this couple’s screentime is devoted to Sara’s hesitation around whether Ben is aligned with her on “social issues.” She has a gay sister, so it’s important that he would be comfortable around her. Ben says he and his faith are accepting of people who are “that way.” He has friends who are “that way,” and he supports “that community.” I guess it’s better than a wholly negative reaction, but I don’t love that he can’t seem to say the words “LGBT” or “gay.”

In general, Sara seems to be a politically active person, while Ben says he didn’t vote in the last election because he just didn’t know enough. He says he has no opinion on Black Lives Matter for the same reason, which Sara side-eyes considering that they’re in the city where George Floyd was murdered. It’s just odd to see Ben be so giddy about having a girlfriend while said girlfriend is in confessionals expressing doubt because she doesn’t want to have to teach fundamental values. I feel like we’re missing footage that shows us more of what she likes about him. Before Ben proposes, Sara emphasizes how important social issues are to her one last time. He says he wants to grow and assures her that it’s not her responsibility to teach him. He does think that they “will be on the same side.” Again, his vague wording doesn’t feel super reassuring to me, but Sara trusts that Ben is motivated to do the work on his own, and says yes. They’re very happy on reveal day … let’s see how long it lasts.

Who’s More Delulu? (Dave, Lauren, Molly)

The girls are fighting … and I can’t believe this is all happening over a guy who views Love Is Blind as a way to “confront” himself over his history of being an “ass” to women. Dave, who works in medical aesthetics, definitely becomes our early villain with his go-to opening line in the pods: “So what’s wrong with you?” But somehow, he pulls two women.

Lauren, who he quips is no longer attractive because she’s 30, is a former teacher who now sells curriculum to schools. She offers to help him with reading comprehension and comforts him about not returning to his childhood home before it was sold. Dave clearly imagines a certain persona based on her voice and job, and seems shocked to learn that she has a “fuck the patriarchy” tattoo and takes nudes.

His other connection is executive bank assistant and dancer Molly, who joked to the Lacheys that the only “first” she has left to give is someone being her first boyfriend/husband. Dave grins when she says there are no kinks she wouldn’t try once. They both agree that life should be fun and easy and that politics shouldn’t interfere with relationships.

Molly initially doesn’t know that Dave is dating Lauren, which makes Lauren wonder if all her gushing is a form of psychological warfare. (My conspiracy theory is that the camera crew gives the women’s lounge materials for a fort specifically because they wanted to get those dramatically-framed shots of Lauren’s face hearing Molly suggest that Dave said she was his number one.) I start regularly rewinding to fact-check what Dave says he did or didn’t say. He tells Lauren she’s the only person that he said he could see himself proposing to, but I feel like asking Molly about her ring preferences at least implied the same thing. At one point, Molly believes that Dave is going to break up with Lauren and waits through the date only to find out that he didn’t; Dave later admits that he brought up the idea, but didn’t make any promises.

While Molly has been encouraging Dave to take his time making up his own mind, Lauren tells him to pick her and not make the wrong choice. Applying pressure is the approach that works, and Dave chooses Lauren, though he’s scared of things working out and in tears thinking about how his sister will react. Right after getting dumped, Molly clears the air with Lauren, who admits that she’s been wondering which one of them is “more delulu.” But Lauren ultimately trusts Dave, who points to his feelings via his notes about her throughout the experiment. He proposes on Valentine’s Day, and they both seem happy during the reveal; Dave comes across as almost bashful in the presence of “motherly, nurturing” Lauren.

My concerns around this couple were centered on Dave, but the preview implies that Lauren is the one who cheats! Now the relationship feels doomed on both ends.

Breakup Central (Mason, Meg, Madison, Alex)

Not a single person leaves with a ring, but according to an informal poll of my coworkers, this was the most interesting pod storyline by far. What can we say? The people love mess.

Madison is a painter who has an understandably complex relationship with her mom due to a history of substance abuse. She’s kind of had to be a parent since she was a kid. Both she and Alex — a white guy who looks like Ben Platt and says he used to be ugly with a big Afro — have the shared experience of being bullied in school. Alex, who has ADHD and was kicked out by his family after failing high school, is now a baby-faced commercial real estate broker who always wants everyone to feel included. These two clearly enjoy talking to each other, but it’s hard to tell how much of it is because of a real romantic spark and how much of it is just because they both understand what it’s like to have gone through traumatic experiences.

Madison is also dating Joe Alwyn skater-bro-turned-cinematographer-bro Mason, whose unabashed horniness brings out her flirtier side. He loves the movie Her, so this entire experience is really doing something for him. The final corner of this love square is Meg, who is, as far as I know, the first person to ever bring up Joe Rogan in the pods. When Meg shares her “sober high” thoughts, I start to feel like I’m the one who’s high, but Mason’s eating it up. He and Meg are aligned in their views on spirits, “energies,” conspiracy theories. They both want to find someone to be a dumb weirdo with.

In comparison, Alex seems to have more specific criteria. He asks about Madison’s attachment style, and learning that she’s avoidant seems to worry him due to past experiences with exes. But Alex pulling away makes Madison realize that she likes him, and she tries to assuage his doubts by giving up her stuffed bearlien for a night. They coast along for a while, declaring that they won’t take past traumas into new relationships … but hey, if it was that easy, thousands of therapists would be out of a job. Alex is scared to hear Madison say that sometimes she can’t eat when she’s stressed and that there’s nothing he or anyone else can do to help her; Madison is scared that he gets too scared. But they tell themselves that they need to trust each other.

Despite “baby girl” Meg’s consistent efforts to make it clear that she’s all in on “Zaddy Horacek,” Mason decides to tell Madison that he’s committed to her. She makes a face and becomes Alex’s girlfriend, deciding that Mason is more of a friend. Guess those cream pie innuendos were platonic, then? After Madison breaks the news, Mason suddenly takes back his confession. In the men’s lounge and in his next date with Meg, he’s sticking to the story that he knew he validated the wrong person. But even Meg doesn’t buy it when Mason claims that she’s always been his No. 1. She breaks up with him before he can propose (assuming that that’s what the flowers waiting for her were for). She knows she can’t get over not knowing if she was just a backup, but she tells Mason not to be sorry for following his heart.

Alex and Madison’s relationship falls apart pretty quickly afterward. Although they exchange gifts and seem to be headed to a proposal, things go off the rails when Alex suggests that his friend Mason’s flip-flopping feelings are just as valid as Madison’s. Her hurt manifests through taps, then tears. Alex says he can’t do another relationship with miscommunication and fighting, which she feels is an unrealistic expectation. He says the missing piece is reassurance that they’ll communicate effectively, but she doesn’t know if her best will always be good enough for him. This fight itself feels like proof of that, and ultimately, getting engaged is too big of a leap for Alex. In a confessional, a tearful Madison says that she’s sad but that this is the right choice.

Mr. & Mrs. Claus (Taylor and Daniel)

There’s always a Love Is Blind couple that feels like it was invented in a Hallmark writers’ room, and these Christmas lovers initially seem to fit the bill. Sales account exec and self-proclaimed short king Daniel is here to find the future mother of his children — someone who won’t, uh, look down on him just because he’s 5’8. He jokingly gets on one knee during his first date with colonoscopy nurse Taylor, who ends up getting sick and has to rasp her way through several dates. An ever-growing list of coincidences and common interests helps make these two sure that they were meant to be. At one point, Daniel assures Taylor that he’ll find her if she has to leave because of her dad, who has cancer. “I’ve been waiting for you to find me,” she replies.

It’s easy to imagine a future where Taylor is starring in Daniel’s next unhinged Christmas card. (I could do without him getting a Chik-fil-A lip tattoo to match her Taco Bell one, but that’s just me.) They get engaged after reading each other letters that already sound like wedding vows. At the reveal, Daniel can’t stop calling Taylor pretty. She admits to us that Daniel is shorter than her normal type but says she doesn’t mind an excuse not to wear heels. Still, she seems slightly subdued.

And we learn why the next day when we see Taylor crying in the women’s hotel. “I have this, like, overwhelming feeling that when the doors opened last night, that was not the first time that he saw me,” she says, explaining that she’s fairly sure that Daniel followed and unfollowed her on Instagram not too long ago. Her account has a lot of the shared interests they bonded over in the pods, and she remembers having mutual followers. While Taylor says she’s grown to love Daniel, she seems freaked out that this might be a Joe from You situation.

In the pods, Taylor acknowledged that she’s an overthinker in relationships, and it’s time for her new fiancé to make good on his promise that she can ask him for clarity whenever she wants. Daniel — who once mentioned that he has a freakishly good memory, specifically for Instagram accounts — meets her at the hotel. He doesn’t know why he would’ve followed and unfollowed her and doesn’t think he did. But she’s unsure. Up until now, it seemed like Taylor and Daniel exemplified the insta-love trope, where people fall hard and fast for each other. But could they actually be a story of Insta-love, where Daniel came into the pods knowing her from Instagram? We’ll have to wait to find out because this is our cliffhanger for the week.

Compatibility Tests

Who’s getting married? Every recap, I’ll be forcing some of my Vulture/New York Magazine coworkers to do what Ben did not: vote. The percentage represents how many of us think the couple will end up saying, “I do.” Here are the results of this week’s poll:

????Devin and Virginia (85%)
????Joey and Monica (71%)
????Taylor and Daniel (71%)
????Ben and Sara (43%)
????Dave and Lauren (0%)

Sorry to Dave and Lauren, lol. You could always prove all of us wrong!

Investigation of the week: Anyone wanna play devil’s Daniel’s advocate?

I find it unlikely that Daniel schemed his way onto Love Is Blind solely because he saw a pretty girl on Instagram. How would he even know that she’d been cast? At the same time, I don’t think Taylor is making up the picture she remembers, which leads me to two theories:

Quote(s) of the week: “This is the most high school season ever.” “Another season with only straight-sized bodies in the main cast … make your experiment make sense!!!” — my coworkers, on the pods.

A couple of last thoughts:

• During the season seven reunion, Alex, Brittany, and Joey were the three cast members brought out to tease season eight. That’s funny, considering that only Joey ends up making it past this week … but whatever, I’m just glad Brittany got a free trip.

• Amanda only got a couple of seconds of screen time, but I’m legally obligated to mention her as a fellow Asian woman. I hope I still look that good when I’m 43.

• I wonder if any DMV employee is petty enough to do something about Taylor admitting to cheating on her vision tests.

• I kinda need to know which famous, elite group of gamers was brought to their knees by an eight-year-old and her sister.