Survivor Recap: Caught Red-Handed

Another episode and another 90 minutes dealing with an annoying, unnecessary, and frustrating preoccupation. No, I’m not talking about idol hunting; I’m talking about whatever the hell is going on with Rome, the sort of terrible player who is emboldened by the new era. But before we get to him, let’s talk about idol hunting. At the start of the episode, Gabe is talking about how he wants to work with someone just like Sue, an older woman and a mother. We see her lie about her age, saying she’s 45 rather than 58. They know she’s a grandmother, I’m just not sure how that math is mathing or that biology is biology-ing, but they seem to have bought it. Also, a note to Gabe: Remember when Cowboy Colby took Tina Wesson, an older mother, all the way to the end in the second-ever season of Survivor? Yeah, he got squat, and she got $1 million. Think about that before underestimating an older mother.

Anyway, Sue goes secretly hunting for an immunity idol and she finds a clue with a little map to her idol. It is tied to a bunch of rope and vines attached to a tree. She cuts the rope and the idol goes flying to the ground and crashes open, leaving a splash of red paint in the sand. It gets all over Sue, all over her idol, all over the little paper she needs to prove it’s a real idol. There is more red than the shower drain at Miranda Hobbs’s house.

This is actually a pretty good idea for an idol. You can have it — and it’s a full idol without any of the other mishegoss — but you are going to have to work very hard to make sure no one sees it. Sue does a pretty good job cleaning up. (Leave it to a mother to eradicate even the most stubborn of spills. It’s like her hands are a Magic Eraser.) But Sue still has some on her face, hands, and hair, which her tribemates notice. Excellent job, Survivor producers; this worked just how you wanted it to.

Over at Lavo (red like lava), everyone is also looking for idols, but Rome doesn’t think that Sol should be looking. “There’s a time to do it and a time to not to,” Rome lectures to Sol. “But the people at the top, they kinda have that freedom to do it. But I don’t know why you would increase the target on your back.” Rome may know a lot about Survivor. I might even grudgingly admit that Rome is good at Survivor, but what Rome is bad at is people. He just told Sol that he’s at the bottom and has a target on his back; why would that dissuade him from looking for an idol? Wouldn’t that just make him hunt harder?

What’s even worse is that Rome just starts following him around, saying that he’s now a babysitter. Sol asks for some time alone, but Rome refuses. If I were Sol, I would have pulled my pants down, squatted right there on the trail, and taken a giant shit. If Rome wants to stand by and watch, I would make sure he would never forget what he’d seen. Teeny says, “He plays the game at an intensity level that does not match my own.” That’s the problem. What he is doing does not match the level of intensity necessary. Every tribe keeps an eye on people as they’re walking around camp. Does he really need to be within two paces of Sol every minute of the day? No. That’s just creating a bigger enemy. And the thing about Rome creating enemies is that it is dangerous for those who choose to play with him.

Genevieve, a ghost who haunts this jungle, says that she can only make the case for Rome so many times until people start making the case against her. Exactly! If she is yoked to a player who is both super annoying but also good at finding idols, eventually people are going to start taking shots at her just to weaken him. Genevieve has no idea how much danger she’s put herself in for someone who she considers rude and isn’t playing the game in a way she approves.

We get some check-ins at the other tribe, but mostly, we see Sam freestyling so badly that there is no style in it, and it is absolutely not free. We also see Andy being so sloppy that he loses his shot in the dark, and then we see Sam and Sierra, the homecoming king and queen, start to fight about whether or not they should work with Andy or the girls. Sam says he doesn’t see a reality in which he is on a tribe with Sierra, Anika, and Rachel, and they don’t try to vote him out. She tells him that she will keep them from voting for him. Really? Her and what Steal-a-Vote?

It’s time for the challenge, and it’s a land-based obstacle course followed by building a 3-D flame puzzle. Everyone starts building the puzzle at about the same time, but Rome plops himself down in front of it and asks Genevieve to hand him piece by piece, and he can’t find a single one to fit. The other two tribes finish their puzzles, and Rome, which can not be built in one day, still hasn’t even started. “Rome has made no progress with Genevieve,” Jeff shouts. “One after another, trying every piece, nothing is sticking, no assessment, no reassessment, nothing.” This is the first time I have ever loved Jeffrey Lee Probst’s commentary on a challenge.

This is really a metaphor for how Rome plays this entire game. He’s so focused on himself, his Survivor experience, and coming in during the “clutch moment” that he can’t see what is best for himself or the rest of the tribe. Rome is so blinded by his ego, so involved in his own mythology, that he can’t see the people around him trying to orchestrate his ouster. He will also take all the credit for any moves made, so those playing alongside Rome will eventually have to vote him out because he will never share the spotlight. This is, at the end of the day, a show about people and relationships more than it is about idols, challenges, and twists. Rome is good at handling all the latter but none of the former, and that is why (I pray to the Survivor gods) he won’t win this game.

We see this arrogance in his “ultimatum.” He sits Sol down, tells him that he has a Steal-a-Vote and the only way that he will work with Sol is if Sol gives him his shot in the dark. If he doesn’t, then he’s going to steal Sol’s vote and he won’t be able to vote anyway. Sol accuses him of threatening him. Rome says, “I’m just letting you know about the situation.” There are two problems here. First, it is a threat. Secondly, Rome hasn’t checked in with his alliance, so he doesn’t even know the situation. Also, Rome tells Sol that he needs his help to vote out Genevieve, the one woman in the tribe who can actually stand him. Why would that make even a Teeny bit of sense? (See what I did there?) Rome pretends to be doing everything for his alliance, but he doesn’t have an alliance of people who like him or want to play with him. He’s assembled people because he knows he needs to in order to win and to glorify him. That’s why he’ll always be a terrible alliance mate.

Rome’s plan backfires and makes Sol even angrier. Kishan comes up with a plan to vote Rome out. Kishan says that even if Teeny loses her vote on a journey and Rome steals Sol’s vote, Kishan and Genevieve can vote for Rome, and on the revote, they’ll send Rome home. (I’m not sure how Rome’s advantage plays in a revote.) This really matters because Teeny does lose her vote on this week’s journey, which was cribbed right out of Squid Game. Caroline, Teeny, and Andy are on the beach, and they have until an hourglass is finished to decide who should lose their vote at the next tribal. If one person sacrifices it, then they all get an advantage. If no one will sacrifice, then they all lose their vote. Teeny takes one for the team and they all get an amulet which, when combined, is like an idol. Okay, we’ve seen this before, and it hasn’t really provided that much drama, but sure.

As the plotting continues, Genevieve is mad that Kishan used her name as the decoy vote and she wants to turn it around and get him out. She goes to Rome to save him and also goes to Sol and tries to get him to vote with them. The problem is that Sol hates Rome so much that he doesn’t want to work with him. This is where Genevieve failed. If she wants to work with someone as annoying and volatile as Rome, she is going to have to manage him constantly and I don’t think that Genevieve has it in her. She can’t tell Rome anything or make him change his behavior so, as I stated above, she’s just going to let him ruin her game.

Going into tribal, we have little idea what is going to happen. It’s the first time that’s been the case this season, and it feels so good. Regardless, it definitely seems like Rome is staying. I feel, for a minute, they might do the boring thing and just kick Sol out. However, Rome uses his Steal-a-Vote against Kishan, and they all immediately know that something crazy is happening and that he’s getting voted off. (No one spells Kishan’s name correctly. Can’t we put a little list in the voting booth so people can at least be accurate instead of drawing a giant key and then writing “Shawn”?)

This is a great move by Genevieve, who even got Sol to vote along with them. Maybe she can manage Rome after all. It makes sense, though, because if he didn’t, she and Rome’s two votes would have been enough to send him packing anyway. But now it leaves Teeny not trusting Genevieve or Rome and Sol absolutely detesting Rome. Either she flips on Rome at the next tribal or they’re going to rocks. But it seems like if Genevieve is going to trust a player as myopic, narcissistic, and irrational as Rome, then her game is already on the rocks.