The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Recap: Why Can’t We Talk in Fact?

This is one of my favorite episodes of the season so far, which is a great sign, considering how much this Mexico trip was featured in trailers. This season has been lacking in some humor and high jinks, but this episode had me laughing from the moment Meredith began rehashing her bat mitzvah drama to her dead-eyed family to the very end, where Britani says “sex forward” instead of “sex positive.” I also love that this episode isn’t heavily focused on one particular fight or story line but more or less on the various points of contention all these women have while also making room to have fun with all of that. Everyone on the trip plays a role: Whitney and Heather aren’t really at the center of any real drama, making them both more commentators; Lisa has realigned with Meredith as her bestie to slight Bronwyn; Angie is just being Angie; Britani is a proud pawn. Also, it is the first episode where Meredith reminds us why she can be fun to watch: She can be effortlessly and unintentionally funny.

I love scenes like the one where Meredith talks with her family, because you can tell Meredith believed she was making serious points about Angie and the entire bat mitzvah fight. I am endeared by how her family patiently listens but hardly offers any insight or defense. Like us viewers, her family knows most of her blowout fights with people are never that deep, but they still humor her out of love. Imagine being in your 20s and your mom is talking about a fight between her middle-aged friends at the bat mitzvah she threw for herself, and she says, “Last night was all about not having hate. And slut shaming is hate.” What else would you be able to do but just sit there?

I love seeing any semblance of these women moving on for the sake of having fun, which is, in this case, a trip to Mexico organized by Lisa. But before all that, Bronwyn being attacked by a dog is CRAZY. Those photos looked like zombie-movie wounds, and yet she still came on this trip and brought gifts — I don’t understand how Lisa could be remotely upset with her. On top of that, the flashback of Bronwyn going to Lisa and John to get advice about her daughter’s potential reconnection proves that Bronwyn no longer has ill will toward Lisa. But Lisa, who is her closest friend on this trip and the reason why Bronwyn is on this show at all, somehow found ways to be shitty to her immediately upon arriving. Sure, Bronwyn asked Lisa if she should bring any gifts, Lisa said “no,” and Bronwyn did it anyway, but outside of mild annoyance, it’s not worth bringing up. It doesn’t take away from any of the stuff Lisa put into her trip PowerPoint, which looked more like a presentation for a Vida Tequila brand trip than anything else.

Lisa was diabolical in planning who rooms together. And while her confessional reasoning makes logical sense because of everyone’s various issues with one another, she could have told Bronwyn beforehand that she was going to put her in the opposite villa and why. I agree with Whitney when she points out that Bronwyn now has her tail between her legs and has to make peace with herself and Angie. As much as Bronwyn is the victim here, I like that we’ve seen her be humbled the past two weeks and that she has learned from it.

While I have hesitated to praise Bronwyn as much as many fans have, I have to admit she has been a true force this season. It’s easy to forget that Lisa is the person Bronwyn knows the best in this group, and it must feel shitty knowing that Lisa is closer with some of these women than she is with Bronwyn. In her time on Housewives, she has had to figure out how to argue with Lisa in a way that cuts through her bullshit. Bronwyn is straightforward during her conversation with Lisa during before-dinner drinks, and Lisa keeps pretending that assigning Bronwyn to Angie and Whitney’s exile villa means nothing. But Bronwyn stayed firm in how she felt hurt, because she wanted to be with her friend! You can’t really argue against a dog-attack victim’s pain and come out on top, Lisa! There is no big conclusion to that particular fight, mostly because the Angie-Meredith-Britani fight took over once they got seated for dinner.

One of the most confusing things about Meredith is that she goes into confrontations believing she will win despite being totally wrong. This is evident in the lead-up to this dinner when she speaks to Lisa. (It’s fascinating how Meredith and Lisa align the most when they fight other women — they are the embodiment of the meme “Two dumb bitches telling each other exactly.”) I love when Meredith speaks with childlike simplicity; at one point, she says, “[Angie] says so many mean things to so many people.” Okay, that is everyone on this show! But I laughed the most when she said, “Whether it’s slut shaming, it’s shaming someone’s business, someone’s disability …” It’s like she thinks adding the word shaming to a claim makes it irrefutable. Lisa then says Angie better be on her best behavior, which is insulting to Angie, who she doesn’t really have a bone to pick right now. They just made up! However, the most delusional part of this exchange is Meredith saying, “Well, I don’t know if that’s going to happen” in response. This is coming from a woman who brought two giant bottles of Kérastase with her all the way to Mexico, put them in a Brooks Marks–branded tote bag, and got a worker at their resort to leave it at Angie’s seat for their dinner. Meredith is in a different reality. This is a premeditated provocation, and I’m supposed to think Angie is the mean one?

Once the reveal of her returning Angie’s bat mitzvah gift finally happened later at dinner, we get Angie and Meredith at the top of their brain-dead game. I truly don’t know where Meredith heard that Angie wanted her gift back, and their back-and-forth of saying: “Is that what I said?” and “Is that not what you said?” and “Is that what I said, Meredith?” It reminds me of that scene from Zoolander where Zoolander’s model roommates are all fighting.

I loved this argument for so many reasons! It was stupid as hell, and that aspect of it was heavily leaned into by production. I love Britani more and more every week. She has no motivation to be on this show outside of attention, so even if someone explained it to her very clearly, she would not care that she’s a pawn to these women. She doesn’t care about being wronged; she just wants to be mentioned. So, in her own way, she uses everyone else as a pawn.

It does not take long for Meredith to realize that maybe she aligned too quickly with Britani, who is there to have the time of her life. She seems to realize this when Britani increases the number of guys Angie says she “did” from 3 to 10 and then, finally, to 15. It’s so evident that Britani is drawing out being hurt to be a part of the action. So what confused me was Lisa siding with Britani and Meredith when, during that whole bat mitzvah fight, she was giggling at Angie’s comments (iconically suggesting she start using Kérastase Thermique). The thing about Lisa is that you know she’s doing something shady when she says, “I’ve always had your back!” to a friend who’s calling her out. I don’t know why she is so hell-bent on going after Angie when nothing major has happened between them since they made up, but I have a feeling it has to do with Bronwyn.

Of course, by the end of this dinner, Angie was vindicated. Here’s the thing about Angie: She has grown a lot this season, and her strategy has changed. I think when she knows she’s basically right, she knows how to be just dramatic enough to be fun but not annoying about it. Ultimately, this whole episode was another big L for Meredith against Angie, which is what happens when you want to take down someone so badly you align with the likes of Britani, who can’t lose because all attention is good attention. I can’t wait to see what happens on day two of this trip.

Snowflakes

• I enjoyed seeing Mary talk to Angie about what’s going on with Robert Jr. I think Angie likely already knew and is playing along that this is a reveal for the cameras. I also think the rest of the women know something serious is going on because of how quickly the “I think Mary’s really going through something heavy” line of conversation was dropped as a point of conversation. I find it hard to believe these women don’t know anything because, otherwise, they’d look like pretty rotten friends, not openly wondering if she’s all right.

• Britani and her announcements kill me. I love that she feels like she’s a main character. I wonder if she thought she’d have a more robust story line where an update on her relationships with her daughters would matter more to these women. Do you know who also used to be this desperate for attention? Angie! Now look at her. I think this could be an effective strategy for Britani if she’s hired back next season. I can see her blooming into someone who knows how to wield her need to be seen.

• I still don’t get why Lisa had to yell, “WHY CAN’T WE TALK IN FACT?” at dinner like that is a phrase that makes sense. I also think that when Bronwyn said the word contrarian, it was the first time Lisa and Britani had heard it.