Comforting Classics for Your Game-Day Gathering: Even if You're Likely to Lose, You'll at Least Win With These Fan Favorites
Take your mind off your team being a fully lost cause with fully loaded nachos and more comfort foods that are perfect for watching sports with your hands over your eyes.
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I have a love for lost causes, and I come by it honestly. I spent my formative years playing in the marching band for the worst football team in the country. I do not recall our precise record, but in my mind, we were 0 and 80. Still, I hooted. I hollered. I honked my little saxophone.
The best thing I can say about those games is that they were short, as the 35 point rule—the high school equivalent of a mercy killing—meant that the clock was running almost continuously. The second best thing I can say about them is that I got to microwave buffalo chicken tenders when I got home.
Both my chosen sports teams and my defeat dinners have improved substantially since then. But the core principle remains the same: When you know you’re going to lose, you need unfussy, straightforward comfort food. Only the classics will do.
Consider these recipes a game-day Greatest Hits album, then—surefire crowd-appeasers that no scoreline can sully. These are dishes that can comfort you through the five stages of sports grief (Denial, Anger, Second Anger, Silence, Kicking). The only thing more satisfying is knowing no one can call you a bandwagon fan.
Buffalo Wings
A few simple tricks make these oven-baked wings every bit as crisp and juicy as their fried counterparts. Invest the time to air-dry the wings overnight. It’s a form of self-care—a “deepest sympathies” care package from you to future you.
The Ultimate Fully Loaded Nachos
These fully loaded nachos use a cheese sauce and shredded cheese to ensure each chip is maximally melty and saucy, with no disappointing bites. Great nachos won’t fix you, but they won’t make you any worse.
Classic Guacamole Recipe
Do you like balsamic vinegar in your guacamole? Neither do I. This is a recipe for a simple, classic, precision-calibrated guac with plenty of texture and just a little heat.
Hot Spinach-Artichoke Dip
Hot, creamy dips have undeniable retro appeal, with the power to transport you through time and space. One swipe through this chunky-cheesy concoction and you’ll be whisked away to a ‘90s TGIFridays, when everything was beautiful and none of your players were hurt.
Easy Weeknight Meatballs
More comforting than spaghetti and meatballs? Skipping right to the meatballs. This weeknight version comes together quickly so you can get right back to pacing in front of the TV.
Crispy Bar-Style Pizza
Flavor, like dread, develops over time, and this pizza is best if you let the dough ferment in the fridge for a few days. Fortunately, that’s the fussiest part. The thin, crispy pie is adaptable and forgiving, easy for a total pizza novice to shape and bake.
3-Ingredient Mac and Cheese
Evaporated milk is the MVP of this gooey three-ingredient mac and cheese. There’s no faster, easier road to solace than a nostalgic stovetop mac.
Honey-Roasted Peanuts
The best way to deal with stress is to eat 50 of something. The best thing to eat 50 of are these make-ahead peanuts, double-roasted and tossed in a compulsively snacky honey-butter glaze.
Rice Krispie Treats
Childhood comfort gets an adult upgrade thanks to brown butter, toasted cereal, and a generous sprinkling of kosher salt.
